Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Silent Nights

Contrary to conventional wisdom, after six years as a night reporter covering a lot of crime, I can safely say that people don’t stab or shoot or strangle each other with any higher frequency during the holidays. It’s long been the belief among jaded reporters such as myself that if you pack a bunch of relatives in a house, add a rack of sharp knives, some cabin fever and a dash of financial stress, it’s a quick and easy recipe for domestic assault.

But after six years, I have to say that hasn’t been the case. If anything, it’s been quieter than usual around the holidays. I asked a few cops, long-time vets, and they said the same thing. Sucks that they have to work, but usually a dull night.

Which makes me wonder where that rumor came from. The fevered imaginations of night reporters perhaps?

Friday, December 16, 2011

Conflicting Stereotypes

So a unique conundrum at the jail. Apparently, prisoners that are brought in who want to go to the bathroom need to be watched. Legally, by a same-sex cop.
We’re talking temporary holding, not real jail.
In walks a person named Kai.
“I usually can tell the trannies,” says the female officer that has to watch. "I honestly can't tell if she's... he's a boy or a girl."
They still don’t know.
Kai: No help. Shaved head with earrings, no makeup, no bra, and none apparently needed. Still no help. Wore boxer shorts … and bikini underwear.
So finally, they think Kai’s a she (Kai’s license says so), and the female officer has to watch the person take a piss. But they stand with their back to the officer, and go standing up.
“She peed like a boy,” the officer says. "I'm dying to know." Still no confirmation, and she’s worried about being sued.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Crime and Politics

You kinda have to cover both at night, but given a choice, I’ll take crime every time. Honestly, I’d much rather cover the aftermath of a bloody shooting than listen to some blowhard city council members take rhetorical swings. You see the pure consequences of bad actions when you go to a crime scene. With politics, on the other hand…

So I went to a suburban meeting recently where they seem to love screaming at each other. This city has been qualified by a local weekly as the most dysfunctional suburb in the metro area. The mayor had to get up and close the doors, and looked like he almost came to blows with a couple people standing there. Everybody was denying the other sides’ facts (we’d already stated our analysis for the record; nothing seemed to matter to anyone).  People were calling each other communists or idiots. The topic: garbage hauling.

O.K. maybe it’s been worse lately, political climate and all, but I’ll say again: give me a shooting any day.